TheJunkiesFaust#2(FTDParish)

I guess it started almost 7 years ago. I was sitting in the Dairy Master eating some fries(w/ special sauce for fry dipping of course) and hanging out with a bunch of my friends on an average Saturday night. My girlfriend(Bridget), my best friend(Buzz) and most of our friends were just sitting around, laughing and making fun of each other. You know, just high school kids, slap assin and trying to have a good time without getting into trouble.

Sometimes easier said than done when you live in a small midwestern town. Not alot of diversion for teenagers around these parts. No under age clubs. Nowhere to dance or anything like that. Just nothing. An average weekend usually consisted of driving around gravelled back roads drinking and trying to get laid for most kids. Sometimes someone's parents were out of town so you didn't have to drive while you were underage drinking. But that's just what we did. This little group sitting here, eating and hanging out didn't do it as much as some, but we did some too. We weren't bad kids, just bored.......

So we're all sitting around joking and laughing and in walks the sherriff and everything stops. Because he's looking around for someone, searching the crowd, scanning. His eyes connect with mine and I know. I know it's me he's looking for. And I know why. I just know. I don't know how, but I do. He just stands there, looking at me with an indiscernable look on his face as I slide out of the booth and stand up after Bridget, who's moved to let me out because she can sense something's not right. I walk up to Jimmy, a huge mountain of a man with huge hands that he'd pinch that muscle running from your neck to your shoulder with. He'd sneak up behind you at basketball games or the gas station when you weren't looking and pinch that muscle and you'd be just locked up. Nothing you could do but squirm and squeel til he deemed it time to let you go. Then he'd laugh that deep big old belly laugh that rumbled across the gym and pat you on the back and tell you to "be good now" and walk off still laughing and searching for his next target. So I walked straight up to him, looking him square in the eyes and he nods his head towards the door and turns and starts out, knowing I'm behind him, following, dreading. And he knows I know. I can feel that too.

I slide into the passenger seat of his patrol car. A big Crown Victoria with a dashboard that looks like the bridge of the Enterprise. The radio's squawking and lights are blinking and I can't take my eyes off them even though I know Jimmy's just sitting there waiting for me to get ready and look at him. But I can't. If I don't look he won't tell me and it won't be real. We sit there in silence for what seems like forever. Bridget and Buzzy and everyone crowded up against the windows of the restaurant, looking, wondering. I can see them out of the corner of my eye, but I won't look at them either. I can't look. I don't want this to be real.

Finally I turned slowly to Jimmy. He's just sitting there, the picture of composure. I wonder how he's able to do it. Tell people things like this. How does he stay so calm and patient?

"She finally did it?" I asked Jimmy.

"She did," Jimmy says. "She went over to Roy's, walked right in, pumped a shell into the chamber and fired right into the middle of the card game. Jacked another one in and fired right into them again. Used the 12 gauge. Killed him and Carla right off. Carla was sittin on your dad's lap. Noone else got hurt bad. A coupla your dad's friends got some buckshot in em, but nothin serious. They all scattered pretty quick and got outta the way for the most part. They said your dad and Carla just sat there starin at her until she fired. Then with all of them layin scattered around, she jacked in another shell, took off her right shoe with her left foot, turned the barrell up looked around at all of em and pushed the trigger with her big toe and blew her head clean off."

I felt nothing. And instantly felt guilt for not feeling anything. Jimmy just told me my mom killed my dad, his girlfriend and herself and I didn't feel anything. What was wrong with me? Was I a monster? Did I deserve this?

I reached up and tried the door. It was locked. I looked at Jimmy. He raised his eyebrow at me questioningly. I looked him straight in the eye and nodded. He pushed the button on his arm rest that released the door lock. I got out and sleepwalked to my car.

Bridget and Buzzy came running out as Jimmy pulled off. They were running to my car, curious, maybe a little scared. I just looked blankly at them as i put the car into gear and drove off. They yelled and ran after me. I watched them in the rear view mirror, hurt and questions on their faces....... I drove off.